is it really Over??

yesterday was i worst day of my life, i couldn't believe what i heard.
i met up with my ex last nite and we talked..
first we went to watch meet the fockers, it was a pretty funny show but i didn't laugh.
i had soo much pain in my heart that nothing felt happy anymore..
why did i leave her in the first place?
i hate myself soo much for doing that, if it wasn't for that day i over reacted, things would be nothing less than perfect.
she said she didn't love me anymore, and no feelings for me whatsover..
is it really true dear??
do u really believe that we can't work this thing out?
if you still wanna be with me, i'll always be there..
i feel horrible now becos i'm selfish..
but i'm only selfish cos i'm crazy abt her.
it kinda feels that someone drove a knife into your heart and its still in there and u try to pull it out but i wouldn't move..
i just want her back.
dear was the only one who was there for me whether during trying or happy times..
i couldn't have got through alot of things without her..
i wanna scream out that i miss her and pray that she'll hear me.
why can't things piece back together nicely??
i can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't think straight.
i'm a wreck. what can i do to make things up??
why do i always do stupid things to the ones i care about.
i've got NS now and time is really impt, but i can only think abt one thing to do with the time given to me.
i know alot of people hate me cos i hurt her so bad, but i just wanna say i still love her and i'm willing to do anything.

i'm sad and alone, miserable and it still hurts so bad....
i want her to be happy.
i want to give her happiness.

i'm not trying to make anyone feel bad.
this is how i feel.
someone please tell her i miss her..