Saturday, January 22, 2005

training rules

hello one and all, as you all know i've been in a pretty bad state for awhile.
i'm kinda relieved now.
now i know how she really feels.
i'm happy for her that she moved on, as much as i want my ex and i to work things out.
i realise that, why do i want to work things out.
simply the reason that i want her to be happy.
i'm happy when you're happy..

thanks jay for being there when i was really down.
thanks xuan for giving me the "old" advice i needed.
i've decided to train full time now, to persue my passion to be the best.
its the only thing i'm sure of now.
if you love someone, you gotta set them free.
sound cliche right but i think its the best.

i'm surrounded by friends who i only appreciate when i'm in a crisis.
but i glad you guys are around. to the people of a01 to my click of 5 buddies, to long lost friends and even basketball buddies.

thanks guys, training time starts now....

Friday, January 21, 2005


i'm back.. i just booked out on thursday..
army life has been alright with frens i met along the way.
but in many ways, army has been a pretty tough place to be..
the first couple of days were really hard, kept thinking of wdy..
i remembered talking to her one night.. i was soo happy.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

hi to one and all

i guess most of you know i'm going into army today at 3.45pm.
although going into army is no big deal but many things have happened after my a levels.
i realised that i've been an arrogant, self centred and selfish individual.
i have even taken other people who i truely care about for granted. that was unacceptable.
it was one night that a good friend sat down with me and had a heart to heart talk.
i know its too late to change many things in my life, if i could go back and changed the things i've done, i would but the truth is, i can't.
i'm doing all i can to amend my mistakes.

to my class of 2004 A01, thanks for being such a great class to be in, i couldn't have gone through another year of school without you guys. from the wacky and funny fabian, robbin to the cool jerry to doug and mr jun, aka playstation king. alexis, beat, shar, wing, ai lin, zq, maly thanks for everything.. can't explain how much it means to have such friends..

to my 5 great friends, mr ang wei quan, ms eileen tan, ms tan jiing shyuan, ms bee tze and ms christie.
ah quan, thanks for everything man, still remember the haircuts at your place and the constant suaning of how slow your hair grows compared to mine.. haha, we've come really far. still remember the first day we met, you me and hsu chieh climbed over the gate to escape school, those were fun times.
eileen, haha, been your punching bag for as long as i can remember, life in school would be less exciting without you in it..
bee.. i've always found you with such a strong character that it totally empowers me.. i dunno what to do.. haha, but you and i have had our share of biting sessions.. you biter...
chris, it seems we haven't really met up as a group, i know you're busy and all so no worries mate.. haha, you've got one of the nicest hearts i've ever know. i haven't seen you angry before..
lastly, shyuan...
i guess, in a way, we've had more close encounters... i can say that in a way, you know what my strenghths and weaknesses are. i remembered that we had such a heated argument that we didn't talk for a period of time. that has to be one of the moments i truely treasured cos whatever happens, we'll always work things out, finding more about each other. we're buddies rite. and hope we'll be like that till.. ermmm... i dunno lah, just for a really long time..
i know university life is not easy for you all, xuan and bee have soo many activities in their uni..
whatever makes you all happy, i'll support you guys all the way, 110% all the way.

to wendy: we've been through too much together, both happy and painful.. but i hope we'll remain good friends in the many years to come, i know i'm not an easy person to be with, so for that i'm sorry, but whtever happens, i'll always be there to support you. i'll be there rain or shine. i still remember the first movie we watched, treasure planet. u were kinda surprised that i asked you out for a movie. you thought that the little jelly creature was soo cute.
we're pals right, no. 1 frens rite.. this fren gonna be there by your side all the way. thanks for being a caring friend, you were the one who got me through the difficult times, i still remember complaining to you about yong and training.. you were the one who got me through my a levels. i was soo slack that i didn't do much.. but you encouraged me and stuck with me. haha, i manage a B for maths. not bad hoh, but the rest suck lah.. haha.. i couldn't have done it without you.
take care and hope you're happy with your uni life :)

army is not the end of the world but its definitely the beggining of a new phase in my life.
i dunno whether i'll change nor will i know what will happen, but what i know now is that the world is a unpredictable place where we must rise to the occasion or be left behind.
but friends is what makes the world alot pleasant to live in.

take care guys..........
see ya in a few weeks..

Thursday, January 06, 2005


Lonely I'm so lonely,
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely, im mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
To call my owwnnn
Im so lonely,

Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno
got to have one good girl whose always been there like ya
Kno took all the bullsh** then one day
she cant take it no more and decides to leave
I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side,
coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was feenin,
so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years,
tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad,
cuz ever since my girl left me, my whole life came crashin

Im so lonely (so lonely),
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Cant believe I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life,
after all I put u thru u still stuck
Around and stayed by my side,
what really hurt me is I broke ur heart,
baby you were a good girl and I had no right,
I really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody to call my own)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
been through
out chasing u

Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be,
aint no one in the globe I'd rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely
So lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Never thought that id be alone, I didn't hope you'd be gone this long,
I jus want u to call my phone, so stop playing girl and
Come on home (come on home), baby girl I didn't mean to shout,
I want me and you to work it out, I never wished Id ever
Hurt my baby, and its drivin me crazy cuz...
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, so lonely, (so lonely), Mr. Lonely

-lonely by Akon

is it really Over??

yesterday was i worst day of my life, i couldn't believe what i heard.
i met up with my ex last nite and we talked..
first we went to watch meet the fockers, it was a pretty funny show but i didn't laugh.
i had soo much pain in my heart that nothing felt happy anymore..
why did i leave her in the first place?
i hate myself soo much for doing that, if it wasn't for that day i over reacted, things would be nothing less than perfect.
she said she didn't love me anymore, and no feelings for me whatsover..
is it really true dear??
do u really believe that we can't work this thing out?
if you still wanna be with me, i'll always be there..
i feel horrible now becos i'm selfish..
but i'm only selfish cos i'm crazy abt her.
it kinda feels that someone drove a knife into your heart and its still in there and u try to pull it out but i wouldn't move..
i just want her back.
dear was the only one who was there for me whether during trying or happy times..
i couldn't have got through alot of things without her..
i wanna scream out that i miss her and pray that she'll hear me.
why can't things piece back together nicely??
i can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't think straight.
i'm a wreck. what can i do to make things up??
why do i always do stupid things to the ones i care about.
i've got NS now and time is really impt, but i can only think abt one thing to do with the time given to me.
i know alot of people hate me cos i hurt her so bad, but i just wanna say i still love her and i'm willing to do anything.

i'm sad and alone, miserable and it still hurts so bad....
i want her to be happy.
i want to give her happiness.

i'm not trying to make anyone feel bad.
this is how i feel.
someone please tell her i miss her..

nice song

and so it is
just like you said it would be
life goes easy on me
most of the time
and so it is
the shorter story
no love no glory
no hero in her skies
i can't take my eyes off of you
and so it is
just like you said it should be
we'll both forget the breeze
most of the timeand so it is
the colder water
the blower's daughter
the pupil in denial
i can't take my eyes off of you
did I say that I loathe you?
did I say that I want to
leave it all behind?
i can't take my mind off of you
my mind
'til I find somebody new

-blower's daughter by damien rice

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

LA food

hi one and all, this is me in LA, eating some LA food man, hahaha..
they served pretty good food, loved it..